It’s common knowledge that everything in Australia is trying to kill you. You might’ve already read the satirical “Top 5 reasons you shouldn’t go to Australia“, or you might not, but here are, with pictures, the top 10 reasons to not visit Australia. And these are all completely legitimate reasons, not even joking!
1. Redback
Ahh, spiders. Who doesn’t love spiders? Oh right, everyone. These venomous little creatures are so small you’d never expect that they could be deadly. They’re responsible for a large % of bites in Australia, and the bite alone can cause nausea, vomiting, headaches and sweating. And being bitten hurts as per all creatures. That’s only one species, lets not get started on the Huntsmen, funnel-web and trapdoor spiders.
2. Box Jellyfish
I’m no expert, but I’d guess they’re called box jellyfish because they look like boxes. Probably. These jellyfish are extremely venomous and their stings can cause serious harm to humans – heck, they can even be fatal. The best part? The most dangerous species of box jellyfish happens to live in Australia. Feel free to Google ‘Box Jellyfish Sting’. Better stay away from the water.
3. Eastern Brown Snake
Australia is home to something like 7 of the worlds deadliest snakes can be found in Australia. The deadliest being the inland taipan, apparently. Eastern Brown Snakes are on this list because they’re a LOT more common. They’re also really dangerous, and super angry. If you see one, I’d highly suggest getting away from it ASAP and never returning. The common brown snakes are pretty little things though, especially when they’re coiling up and raising themselves off the ground as if they’re being charmed, but make sure you don’t get bitten. A bite from one of these guys can cause ‘Venom-induced consumption coagulopathy’ (blood clotting), kidney failure, paralysis and cardiac arrest. All that and they’re still only the 2nd deadliest.
4. Cassowary
Aww look a pretty blue and pink and purple birdy! But seriously, look at the size of those feet and claws. Cassowaries are usually shy, but those that have had human contact can be dangerous. Think of it this way, the only bird heavier than a cassowary is an ostrich. They can grow to be 6 feet tall (180 cm) and they can run at up to 31 mph through the jungle. So not only are they massive, they’re quick, short tempered with sharp claws. Steer clear.
5. Red Kangaroo
Ah the famous Australian marsupial, the kangaroo. They’re not as harmless and docile as you might think. Male red kangaroos have been known to reach over 2 metres tall standing upright, and weigh over 90 kilograms. They’re usually a bit shorter though. A kangaroos kick is capable of tearing open human flesh – they kick you in the stomach and you’re in serious trouble. ‘Roos are alpha dominant, so if you get in the way they’re likely to want to fight you. If they do, the best (and only) advice I was ever given is to put something sturdy, like a big tree, between you and the kangaroo. You won’t be able to outrun it.
6. Saltwater Crocodile
These monsters can grow to be over 6 metres long and weigh more than a ton. Despite the name they live in all sorts of places where you’d least expect them – all the better to surprise you and turn you into dinner. They’re territorial, so if you find yourself in the wrong place they’ll more than likely attack you. Crocs are capable of breaching the water and jumping ridiculously high (particularly the juveniles), and they’ve got a pretty nasty bite too. That’s not even including the infamous death roll. It’s probably best to keep all of your body parts protected if you’re on the water in Salty territories.
7. Great White Shark
Do I need to explain this one to you? A 4 metre long, 1 ton bundle of death. I mean, just look at those teeth! Granted that they don’t hunt humans, but if you’re flopping around like a seal there’s a good chance it’ll take a chunk out of you. And the best way to look like a seal? That’s by swimming and surfing. Coupled with jellyfish and crocodiles, good luck in the Australian waters.
8. Dingo
Dingoes might not seem like the most vicious predator you can find in Australia, but on the land, they are in fact, the largest. They look a lot like dogs, but they’re technically wolves – and everyone knows wolves are dangerous. As with all “dogs” (as in lions being cats etc) if you get bitten you risk contracting rabies, and it’s really going to hurt. You’ve probably all heard “a dingo ate my baby”, and if not, you aught to be careful else you’ll find yourself making those claims.
9. More Spiders
As in, raining spiders. The spiders release silk as they’re “jumping” which then causes them to be picked up and carried away with the wind. Well eventually the wind will stop blowing and voila, it’s raining spiders. The gossamer then ends up all over the place and you’re left with millions of spiders and a ridiculous amount of webs. An arachnophobe’s nightmare.
10. Dropbear
Ah, the fabled dropbear – big cousin to the cute and cuddly koala. Unlike koalas, dropbears are carnivorous, and are also much larger. They hunt their prey by hiding amongst the tree tops and dropping down on their preys heads from above, which is how they earned their name. Dropbears are even known to hunt humans in more urban areas, particularly in dense foliage such as parks.
drop bears don’t exist, ya idiot.
exactly
I like you response
i agree this article is bs
yes that is true and Btw Australia is the best place in the world it is way better than America because we don’t have a pumpkin as a president.
Haha agreed! Go us!
i agreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ps CrOna virus and racism
I was literally laughing at this. All of theses reasons came out of a bulls ass Good job mate
Ps- Drop bears don’t exist
-I have seen some of theses animals and literally gave a dingo my left over dinner.
Wow, I don’t think I could stop laughing. The first few are ok I guess, but the, utterly ridiculous!! Most of these animals are actually quite harmless, and easily treatable. And also, if you are stupid enough to find yourself fighting a kangaroo or cassowary, or heck, even a spider, you can easily avoid it. Also, the occurance of raining spiders is very rare. Oh, and drop bears don’t exist.
i as an Aussie can confirm this
agreed
Are u serious
I have been to Australia and it’s great. Not one of these things attacked me and they only attack if you provoke them.
Ps. Drop bears are a myth. That’s just a photo of a wet koala opening its mouth.
u r dumb
my friend and i were reading this together and she cant stop laughing
its all bull
Ok so first thing i wanna say there aint no bloody rabies here buddy also so drop bares aren’t real if u see a brown snake just grab it behind the neck also don’t ever say wing ate my baby
This hilarious the way to deal with snake is you give am flick with back off the tail and brakes it’s neck
Ps you idiot for think drop bears are a myth to scare away you idiots
The only reason is probably because you just like your country better lol and im australian too and i know that what you posted i soo wrong
Drop bears don’t exist
Drop Bears don’t exist, this is such bull. and if ya see a cassowary or a kangaroo, don’t approach it, unless you want it to attack ya! Where do these people get their info from? i have lived in australia my whole life! And not once has anything on this page attacked me, i just leave them alone, and i love it in the outback.
This is bull crap. Drop bear don”t exist get it right dumb bum
Drop bears don’t exist you moron. Come to australia and walk though the bush and see how many drop bears drop on ya head. Also cassowary don’t wreak havoc on the streets of australia. The bush maybe. Also more spiders isn’t a reason where ever you came from there would be spiders every where. Kangaroos go near them they might rip you in half but that’s when they feel threatened.
This is so stupid, whoever wrote this is clearly not well educated in this matter…
My dad had a half dingo as a pet
stay away from those animals and you will be fine
most of these animals don’t even harm you
I’m an Aussie and some of these things are just ridiculous. Some are dangerous but all you have to do is stay away from them and you’ll be fine. I will walk past some of these animals everyday and I’m not dead, all you have to do is leave them alone and they’ll leave you alone. Simple. And from my perspective it’s the best place to live with the beaches and animals and even inland with lake and rivers and dams.
Drop bears actually do exist. all the people here are bogans and don’t want you to come to australia because we like it to be isolated. the only way to stop the Drop bears, it to smear what we call Vegemite (fermented Petrol) all over the back of your neck, especially whilst walking alone at night. this is when they like to attack the most.